Because Laughing Is Better Than Crying:Part 4

Because when you have three 3 year olds you have to find the humor in parenting. Or else you’ll cry about parenting. 

When my kids start thinking their too cool. 

When the kid who annoys the bajeezus out of everyone gets what they had coming. 

When I’ve told one of my many three year olds to stop doing something or they’ll get hurt. And then they do it and get hurt. Hi, told you so. Bye. 

Mom what color is Fin McMissile? I don’t know, bud. What color is he? I don’t know. Hmm is he blue? No. Orange? No. Purple? No…. *10 minutes later*… Yellow? No. He’s grey, mom. 

I locked myself in the bathroom the other day mainly because I just wanted to pee alone once and also I needed a hot a minute. All three of my children stood at the door banging and screaming like: 

When someone asks me if they’re all three. 

Hey guys it’s time to go. What did you say, mom? It’s time to go. Huh? It is time to go. What? 

That time someone asked me if I was going to keep them all. 

When people ask me if we’re going to have any more kids. 

When my kids refuse to eat a meal and then ask for a snack. 

When I watch a child do something wrong and then they deny it. 

When your kids say thank you unprompted. 

When you fall over a kid because someone is always at your feet. 

On Having Three Three Year Olds

Let me preface this post with a little something something. If you are not into sarcasm or laughter at the expense of your current family’s life status just skip this one. Don’t talk to me about *choosing joy.* I love my life. I love my people. And both of those are currently ludicrous. I can choose joy and sarcasm. WATCH ME. xoxo

Hi, welcome. So we have three 3 year olds. No, they aren’t triplets. But they’re all three and they all look alike. So, yes they’re basically triplets. All three were adopted internationally. We have been a family of five stateside for three whole weeks. It is a kind of insane that I did not know existed. And yes, my hands are full. They are so full. My heart is full too and whatever BUT MY HANDS ARE ACTUALLY SO FULL. 

I’m not sure how normal people transition up in number of kids but we basically went from this: 

To this overnight: 

Let’s get something out of the way first. No one tells you about the three year old. I heard all about the terrible twos but three. My God, laughs in the actual face of “the terrible twos.” And yes, that is in quotation marks because contrary to popular belief it’s not really a thing. Like, try again. Whoever invented that phrase should be fired. If you think two is terrible (and I thought it was really really hard) BRACE YOURSELF, SISTER. And so when we were like, three 3 year olds? Sounds crazy for sure but at least we’d be done with the two’s…. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL. 

People want to know all the time “so what’s it really like?” And Dustin and I often times just stare back at people like this: 

Like, hi, you want to know what now? Can you ask the question differently? I don’t understand. *scratches head* 

Having three three year olds is like managing a three year old fight club. 

RULE: You do not talk about FIGHT CLUB. 

2nd RULE: You DO NOT talk about FIGHT CLUB. 

3rd RULE: If someone says “stop” or goes limp, taps out the fight is over. 

4th RULE: Only two guys to a fight.

5th RULE: One fight at a time. 

6th RULE: No shirts, no shoes. 

7th RULE: Fights will go on as long as they have to. 

8th RULE: If this is your first night at FIGHT CLUB, you HAVE to fight.

Like, this is me by 7 am:

I made the mistake of saying out loud that we take toys away and put our kids in time out, and people were all whyyyyyyy??? And I was just like…

Nope. I do not have time to explain my life to you. BYE NEXT. 

Let’s not forget that two of ours don’t speak any English. I drive by horses and one of ours shouts “MOMMY! ELEPHANT!” One time they pointed at George Washington and thought it was their grandmother. I have one who points at their belly button and says “elbow.” They jibber jabber away all day long to my unfortunate inability to understand what they’re saying. So we basically sit around all day looking at each other like this: 

Like, yeah, no I didn’t catch that. Can you say it a different way? No? Okay. 

All three of ours are in diapers right now. Mainly because I frequently walk into the bathroom and find a child doing something to the tune of this while on the potty: 

Like, why? Just stop it. I cannot even. We’ll stick with diapers. Thanks so much. We change something close to 100 diapers a week. So please don’t talk to me about things like the environment right now. We are single handedly killing it, I’m well aware. 

I have walked into so many rooms of my house because someone is always *missing* and been exactly like: 

Why are you eating the blinds!?

Why have ALL of the air vents been picked up out of the floor!? 

Where did you find nails and why are they in your mouth!? 


How did you climb up the wall and rip down the actual decor that was hanging up!?

Why are you acting like the tv is a punching bag!?

Why do you have a knife!? 

Why is the bath running!? 

Why are you licking the walls!?

Why is there pee all over the floor!?

Why are you trying to stick something pointy in the electrical outlet!? 

This is Dustin and I during the dinner/bath/bedtime hour(s):

Jesus be near. See you on the other side. Loveyoumeanit. 

Dustin and I sit around at night like this because did we really just make it through another day alive? 

And so when someone asks me “what’s your day like?” I find myself doing this. 

Like LOL. I’m just trying to make sure all of us are alive and my house hasn’t burned to the ground at the end of the day. True story the end.

On Waking Up

Dustin texted me last week and said, “I think we’re becoming activists.” I sent him the cry laughing emoji because, LOLOL are we? 

Seven people were murdered wrongly last week. Seven. Not five.

My insides are literally itching and screaming and thundering for equality. For justice. For (white) people to wake up. For the church to WAKE UP. It feels like it’s burning inside of me. I want to scream it. I want to shake it into people. BLACK LIVES MATTER. Not because white lives don’t. Not because blue lives don’t. Not because all lives don’t. But black lives matter because it wouldn’t happen to me. Because I’m white. PERIOD. END OF DISCUSSION. 

The reality is that this country is different for people of color than it is for you and me. Period. The stories that we’re all hearing? They are real. Period. The fear that people of color have of law enforcement? That is very, very real. Period.

Jesse Williams said recently in his BET awards speech:

And for the life of me I cannot understand why we find this hard to grasp.

Black America is hurting. And the question I keep asking myself is do we even care? Do we, white America, even care? 

Because here’s the thing. I’m glad your pastor talked about racism on Sunday. I honest to God am. I’m thankful he was brave enough to say “black lives matter.” I love that there are prominent people calling us to love and kindness and prayer. I’m thankful there is a stirring among white people who previously had not been stirred. 

But here’s the other thing. If we stop there we’ve done nothing. 

My fear is that we’re over here simplifying all of this in the name of love and kindness and hugs. We need more of all of those things. So much yes. But the deal is systemic racism is real. White supremacy is real. Oppression is real. Discrimination is real. Racial biases are real. Racial prejudices are real. White privilege is real. People being killed because of their skin color is real. White people not knowing or being taught their own real history is real. 

There is a real racism problem in America and it starts with ME and it starts with YOU. 

I’ve had a handful of people ask me over the last few days what to do about all of this. And here’s the thing: I don’t really know. We don’t have this figured out. I don’t think we ever will. We wake up daily and have to check ourselves. We are constantly reading and listening and sitting at the feet of people of color learning from them. There’s not an end to all of this. But I can tell you what we’re doing to stay awake and maybe you can do the same. 

We ALL have work to do. White, Black, cops. White people it’s time to do our own work. Like actual uncomfortable work. We can’t expect anyone else to do this for us. It’s time to wake up. 

This is just a start. The lists are endless. There will forever be books to read and stories to listen to. There will always be the work of checking ourselves and holding each other accountable. We will never just arrive I don’t think. Let’s do the work and let’s do it well. In the name of Jesus. In the name of love. In the name of our Black brothers and sisters.

Diversify the people you follow on Twitter and Facebook. Here are a few we follow:

Huffpost Black Voices 

Judy Wu Dominick 

Shaun King 

Raising Race Conscious Children 

Equal justice Initiative 

Showing Up For Racial Justice 

Diversify your bookshelf. I’ve given this list out before but seriously just pick one up and read it. 

Just Mercy by Bryan Stevenson 

Who’s Afraid Of Post-Blackness by Toure

The New Jim Crow by Michelle Alexander 

The Beast Side by D. Watkins 

How To Be Black by Baratunde Thurston

The Autobiography of Malcom X 

Between The World And Me by Ta-Nehisi Coates

Diversify your kids bookshelf. 

The Skin You Live In- Michael J Tyler

Ten Little Finger And Ten Little Toes- Mem Fox  

He’s Got The Whole Word In His Hands- Kadir Nelson

The Peace Book- Todd Parr 

The Family Book- Todd Parr 

Same, Same But Different- Jenny Sue Kostecki Shaw

What I Like About Me! 

It’s Okay To Be Different- Todd Parr

Anna Hibiscus Complete Collection- Atinuke 

A few things you can watch and listen to (these are all killer):

When One Mother Defied America: The Photo That Changed the Civil Rights Movement 

I want You To Know 

I am Wyatt’s mom. Yes for sure. I am also Wyatt’s second mom. He has a biological mom, a birth mom, and I am not that. I think about his biological mom a lot. But especially on Mother’s Day and his birthday. I’m sure I’ll think about her on his first day of kindergarten and on his 16th birthday and when (if) he gets married. Significant moments she will never share with him. Significant moments he will never share with her. Significant moments that only by the grace of God I get to share with him and he with me. 

 Mothering someone else’s baby is beautiful and complicated and gives me exactly all the feels. It is all of that. Forever. And some days I wish I could reach across the oceans, give her a hug and whisper in her ear: “He’s okay and he’s loved. Oh, and you’re loved too sister.”

Hey girl, 

I want you to know that you birthed one hell of a kid. Really. You honest to God did. 

I want you to know he has a killer fake laugh right now. It’s borderline ridiculous. 

I want you to know he loves cars so very much. He never leaves the house without at least five of them. 

I want you to know he is hilarious. He is genuinely funny and I love it. 

I want you to know he’s beyond ticklish. Like, everywhere. The neck. The feet. The thigh. The hiney. The underarms. All the places.

I want you to know he loves throwing rocks into a lake by our house. 

I want you to know his tiny voice is the most precious. 

I want you to know he loves Popsicles. Like wakes up asking for one. 

I want you to know he’s learned to ride his tricycle. It’s red and he was so scared at first. 

I want you to know he loves Lightning McQueen. And Thomas The Train. And Finding Nemo. 

I want you to know that bacon is the name of his game at the moment. 

I want you to know he’s sweet. So, so sweet. And kind. 

I want you to know he loves slushies. He usually picks purple but sometimes it’s red. Or blue. 

I want you to know his eyelashes still curl all the way up to his eyelids. Sometimes he tries to pick at them and I lose it every time. 

I want you to know he’s sleeping in a big boy bed now. It has trucks all over it and he thinks he’s hot stuff sleeping in it. It’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.

I want you to know he loves jumping on the trampoline and blowing bubbles and playing baseball and kicking the big red ball. 

I want you to know he never stops talking. Seriously never. 

I want you to know he loves to sing. He knows all the words to Adele’s Hello. It’s kind of hilarious. The kid can sing let me tell you. 

I want you to know that he tells this joke about a giraffe and it makes me laugh out loud every time. 

I want you to know he loves reading books. Same Same But Different, The Skin You Live In and Goodnight Goodnight Construction Site are popular ones right now. 

I want you to know he’s happy. This time last year I wasn’t so sure, but deep in my soul I know he’s happy now.  

I want you to know he’s growing up. He’s tall and his baby face has turned into a little kid face. He’s not as squishy anymore. (Sad face) 

I want you to know he is so loved. By a host of people. 

I want you to know he’s going to be a brother soon. And I think he’s going to rock it. 

I want you to know he is stubborn as all get out. Like I dare you to try and get him to do something he doesn’t want to. 

I want you to know his big brown eyes still have a sparkle to them. And that sparkle still makes me want to weep a little bit. 

I want you to know he’s started pouting recently and I can’t stop laughing about it. 

I want you to know you’re loved. That we still believe in a whole lot of grace. And redemption. And forgiveness. That I love being your boys mom. That I can’t wait to link arms with you one day and show you our boy. Thank you for sharing him with me. 

Happy Mother’s Day to you, sister.

xoxo, ck

How To Be A Parent 

Not too long ago I found myself back in my counselor’s office basically weeping over being a parent. I found myself paralyzed in fear over parenting Wyatt. Like, I could not do it because I was terrified of messing it up. Really of messing HIM up. And I can’t mess up a kid who already has a messed up beginning, right!? The pressure! My God! After a couple of weeks, my counselor looked at me and said: “Where is the Courtney I met all those years ago? The one who did not give a shit about what other people did or said? Where did she go?” And I was like: Dang it. You are right, sister. She got lost. I lost her! I lost her in all of the stupid crap out there that tells you how to be a parent. 

And so I spent the next few months trying to find and get that girl back. And good news! SHE’S BACK. And she don’t give two shits. (JK but not really) 

So this is for all of us who got lost in the parenting books and studies and classes and what everyone else is saying and doing. This is for all of us who found ourselves again. Because being a parent is hard enough without all the extra noise out there telling you how to be a parent to the kid only you know best. Let’s do this. 

How to be a parent in like almost 20 steps:

Do not give your baby formula under any circumstances. It causes brain damage. Breast is always, always best. Unless that isn’t an option, then formula is great. Drink up! But beware, giving your child the nutrients they need is being a good parent that can also kill your child. 

Do not ever put your child down. You should wear them at all times. This is nurturing the bond between you two and increases their felt safety. You should put your child down because this helps them learn to crawl and walk and do things on their own which will increase independence and it will be the downfall of your attachment with them. Baby wear until middle school.  

You should come up with a routine and stick with it always. But don’t do that because then you will never be able to do anything ever again and will feel like you might die. Schedules are very important for children that should be kept exactly always and never. 

Do not leave your child in a room by themselves to fall asleep. Unless you want to let them learn to self soothe which is a great coping skill that also makes children feel abandoned and like they are going to be eaten by Voldemort. 

Don’t spank. Ever. Under any circumstances. Unless you believe in discipline that produces drug addicts. Because that’s what spanking does. It makes your child more likely to do drugs. 

Do not put your child in time out. It is scientifically proven to be ineffective and damaging to your child’s brain and heart. You will actually destroy your child as a human being if you place them in time out. 

Always speak to your children like Mother Theresa would. Do not raise your voice ever. Raising your voice causes your child to undergo unnecessary trauma. And trauma quite literally changes the shape of your child’s brain. 

You should be aware of your parenting triggers before you become a parent. Is it crying? Whining? Being completely sleep deprived? Maybe all of the above? Again, you should know these before having children. Do not give in to your triggers. Keep your cool always. Do not get frustrated. Losing your cool will guarantee a lifetime of counseling for your child. It will also give them the same triggers you have when they have their own children. Relax!  

Always give your child 13 bajillion choices. Any more than 13 bajillion and you are encouraging entitlement. Any less than 13 bajillion and you’re just being plain neglectful.  

Do not avert your eyes from your child at any time during the day. Averting your eyes from your child causes your child to have a shorter attention span. If you do have the balls to let your eyes wander from your jewel, well done, you have just given your child ADHD. 

When your child is throwing a tantrum do not show any signs of anything on your face. Always remain neutral. If you laugh that gives them a positive reaction and they will continue to throw down. If you show frustration that gives them a negative reaction which makes their brain go into flight or fight mode. Leave them alone. Stay with them. Let them throw the tantrum and ignore them. Put them in a safe place and let them work it out. Contain them with your arms, rocking back and forth and whispering words of love in their ears. 

Your child should watch tv anywhere from no minutes a day up to 3 hours. It’s best for their brains if they see no electronic screen until 5 years of age. 1 hour of tv a day starting at age 2 is good for your child which also causes shorter attention spans, hyperactivity and makes your child’s brain smaller. 30 minutes of tv is best starting at age 1. 

When playing with your child always let them lead. Your child is in charge and should make all play related decisions. Do not ever decline an invitation to play. Unless you want them to learn how to play independently which is a developmental milestone that also causes aggression in children. 

Do not do things for your child if they are able to do it themselves. They will never be able to grow into functioning adults. Continue to do everything for your child. They need you and this is nurturing for your child’s relationship with you. If you want your child to be able to be in a healthy relationship in the future you should continue doing everything always and never for your child. 

Do not ever say No to your child. You should always say Yes. Unless you can’t for safety reasons say Yes then you should come up with a creative way to not say No. You should tell your child No sometimes. This helps them understand rules and boundaries. Do not negotiate with your child. Communicate to them who is the boss. 

Do not use sticker charts as a way to reward your child. Don’t reward your child for anything. This causes entitlement and you can expect your child to live with you forever. 

Sometimes you will need to go with your gut. You will need to make in the moment decisions with and for your child. You should always prepare for these situations even if you do not know what they will ever be. Every single moment is a teachable one that will make or break your attachment with your child. Do not mess up. Feel confident in yourself! 

Don’t ever wake your child up. Unless they are napping and you want them to sleep at night. A child should nap between 1.5-3 hours daily. There should be exactly 5 hours in between the morning wake up, nap, and bedtime. Do not make your child go to sleep. They will tell you when and if they are tired.

You should cherish every moment of parenting. Parenting your children is a grace that you should also not feel pressured to enjoy every moment because that’s ludicrous. Enjoy every single moment always and sometimes. 

Easy enough, right!? Go forth. You’ve TOTALLY got this. 

On Adoption & One Year Home

In January it was one full year since Wyatt joined our family stateside. He is such a joy. Truly. Adoption is such a blessing and something I daily am so thankful we chose. I’ve been reflecting a lot over the past few months about the first year home. How much Wyatt has grown and changed and healed. How much Dustin and I have grown and changed and in a lot of ways healed, too. 

People ask us all the time what adoption is really like and a lot of times I just don’t have a very good answer.It’s so overwhelming. It’s so awesome. It’s so hard. Your child is a stranger to you. You are a stranger to your child. There are so.many.things that go down the first year home. So I thought I’d take a minute to answer that question from the lense of surviving the first year home. Because really looking back that’s what it felt like. Survival. Until one day it didn’t.

Obviously this is our experience and not everyone you’ve ever known who has adopted. (18 month old. International. No special needs. No other kids in the home.) Please laugh with me. I snorted laughter while writing this. Sometimes laughter is just the only way.

We had read all the books. We had taken all the classes. We had talked to all the people. We had waited all the months. We were so ready. We felt so prepared. It’s so funny to look back on. Really. Because we knew nothing.

The first six months of our existence with Wyatt had us looking something like this:


He is so cute! And he cries all the time! He never sleeps! Never! His laugh is the best! He wants to be held all time! Aw! No seriously he never wants to be put down! He won’t eat anything! Not one thing! OMG he won’t stop eating! He’s throwing up! He’s gagging! He’s choking! I feel so stressed! He hits! He’s learning to play! He’s learning to walk! This is the best! The parasite poop! It’s everywhere! All the time! He won’t stop screaming! I don’t know what he wants! He never sleeps! I feel so confused! And tired! I think he hates me! He’s so cute! He won’t stop screaming! But really he literally never wants to be put down! I want to put him down! He’s scared of everything! The tantrums! Over everything! My God! What have we done! I love him! I’m not sure I like him yet! I want to cry all the time! I want to laugh all the time! I feel so confused!

And then the outside world welcomes you home and they have no idea. Not the one. And you don’t really know either. This is exactly your first rodeo. And so everyone just circles up and tries their best. But nobody really knows what is going down on the inside of your home. No one. But you. And your walls. And the pillow you sometimes cry into and other times scream into. 

And so when people start saying things like, “Aren’t you SO GLAD you missed the newborn no sleeping phase? LOL.” You find yourself physically unable to not make this face: 

I’m sorry, you want to say. Have I done something to you that makes you hate me? You see we have done a lot of things since becoming parents and sleep isn’t even on any of the lists. Not one of them. 

The first five weeks Wyatt was in my care he never slept more than two consecutive hours. TWO. I flew solo with him from Uganda to TN and straight fell asleep on one of my flights with him sitting wide awake on my lap. Like, I was out cold and drooling. Still to this day I have no idea how I fell asleep or for how long I was asleep or if my child got up and walked around while I was asleep. Not one idea. Once we were home it improved. And by that I mean he was sleeping like 3 hours at a time. So, no, we were not like SO GLAD we missed the newborn no sleeping phase. Like, settle down with your LOL. 

And then you’ve been off the plane for approximately 72 hours and the good people start asking things like:

“So what’s your daily schedule like?”

“What’s Wyatt’s nap schedule?”

“You’re not making him nap? You know it’s really important for babies to nap, right?”

And your response is to look back at them like this:


Again, you are physically unable to make your face look any different. I don’t know how to help you with this. Because hi, I just switched CONTINENTS WITH A BABY. Did you know that day time in America is night time in Uganda? Like seriously did you know that? So what’s our daily schedule right now? To stay awake during the day. It’s really very simple at this point. Once we have that down I’ll let you know about our sacred schedule we create for ourselves. 

And then you get a little bit brave and start trying to explain the kind of tantrums that go down in your house on an hourly basis, and people tell you to read their favorite parenting book, Bringing Up Bebe, and this is you:


Like, cool. I DON’T THINK YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT. The insane tantrums. Over everything. All the god forsaken day long. Like this is not an exaggeration. Not even close. One time at a friends house Wyatt threw one of this kind of tantrum. After it was over, my friend looked at me bug eyed and said, “Are they always like this? Do you get any time by yourself?” And then she poured whiskey in my coffee. It was 10 a.m. Bless. 

And then in the midst of all the other things, when your doctor calls and tells you that your child is still (STILL!) testing positive for the horrific parasite known as Giardia you do this:

Like you can’t even function properly after this call. If people only knew how you had stood over toilets and dry heaved over the smell of this poo. Or how many mornings you woke up to your child covered in this stuff. Or how many loads of laundry you do in one day because of it. Or how sad the screams are that come from your child because it’s so so painful. Or how you can’t really go anywhere because this stuff is uncontrollable and when it happens you need to take cover immediately. 

I will never forget my child having a blowout (like next level blowout) in Walgreens one day and I didn’t know it until I had flung actual parasite poop onto the checkout counter. And I didn’t even acknowledge it. Like I just paid and walked away with a screaming baby who was dripping the worst smelling crap you have ever smelled. I watched the news for days waiting to hear of a Giardia outbreak in East Nashville. 

If you have a friend who is changing the diapers of a baby with parasites go give them a hug. Seriously. It is truly something else.

And then the people want to know about things like why you don’t get a babysitter (I bet he would be fine! They say) or do the church nursery (It’s church!) or the gym child care (That would be so good for you!), and you’re like you just don’t even know my life:

It is just not that simple you want to say. 

The first time Dustin walked into church after successfully leaving Wyatt in the church nursery (hi, eight months later) I almost had to excuse myself to go cry with excitement (for him and us and our church congregation who had so kindly endured his church time antics). That experience has left me so drained I’m like- I think he would be fine SO FINE at the gym child care BUT WHAT IF HE ISN’T OH MY GOD NO I CAN’T. 

And when you’ve been home for a few months people start inviting you over for dinner or want to meet up for a meal and you’re like, You sure about that? Because this is us after a meal at OUR house:

I put something in the microwave for Wyatt the other day and he didn’t fall on the floor weeping uncontrollably and I thought- We have come SO FAR. Meal time was like an actual war zone. There were tantrums and choking and spitting food and gagging and throwing up and screaming and throwing food and 2 hours later we’re still sitting at the freaking table like: FINE. WE SURRENDER. 

And then people try to make you feel better by saying that all of this is so normal! Because their biological kid does THE SAME EXACT THINGS! No their kid doesn’t have any known history of trauma! Yes their kid has been in their loving care since exiting the womb! But take heart! Because they are facing the same.exact.challenges.(!!!) 

And you find yourself doing this on the inside:   Because, no. Like thanks but no. 

And then out of nowhere you start functioning like normal people for hours and then days and then weeks at a time. The screaming for all the hours of the day just ends. The tantrums simmer down. Meal times aren’t the worst times of the day. The parasites go away. You all of a sudden find yourself so obsessed with your child because once you can breathe you see just how awesome he really is. You sleep one full night here and there and feel like a real superhero. You all find your groove as a family and you’re exactly like: 

Praise The Good Lord. 

And so when people would ask, How are things going?! And I was all… Do I tell them? Can they handle the truth? LOL LOL, nah… “Things are kinda hard but they’re REALLY, REALLY GREAT!” This is what I really felt like:


Now when people ask me what adoption is really like I say, “Ya know, the first six months I thought we were all going to die. But we didn’t. And now things are really fun and great. Still really hard at times but nothing like those first few months.”

Because Laughing Is Better Than Crying Part 3

Sometimes you just need to LOL about parenting. Because if you can’t LOL about it what is even the point!? Kids are cray. (Part 1. Part 2.) 


I’m just a girl standing in front of a boy saying I don’t understand what “I want to drink my slushy outside inside” means. #ivolunteerastribute 

Wyatt: Can I bring my snack inside? Me: Yes. Wyatt (bursts into tears): No! I don’t want to bring my snack inside!! #mmmmkay 

I’m learning that “the other day” in a 2 year old’s mind is literally any day from birth until present. #likeseriouslykeepupmom

It’s such a funny story, my toddler is doing this thing where he has “fake hiccups” every day because he hates me. 

My favorite part about breakfast is when my toddler exclaims from the table that he’s eating leftovers he found from dinner. 

Someone walked in on me in a public restroom recently and I was literally like, “It’s fine. You can come in if you want. I have a 2 year old at home.” 

Does anyone know where I could get a sheet cake and 100 balloons on short notice? I tried to go play with my 2 year old and he told me that I could go away. #dontmindifido 

Try telling your 2 year old that there is still in fact food on their plate when they are hell bent that “no, it’s all gone.” #LOL

My 2 year old has become besties with the liquor store employees. I have no idea how that happened. We don’t even drink. #sarcasmfont

My 2 year old is in this phase where he ROARS really loud in your face when he’s in trouble. The other day I ROARED really loud back because, YOLO. #thelookonhisfacethough

I have an actual masters degree from a credible university and I just wiped my toddler’s tears off wrong. #🙄

What am I doing? Oh sorry, just practicing my “mommy watch this” face.

My toddler is obsessed with Thomas The Train. His favorite train is Percy except he can’t say the R and he pronounces the E like a U. So that’s been super fun for him to yell in public.

A fun thing about parenting is trying to decide if your toddler is screaming because they’re dying or because the crayon broke. 


What’s That? 

This is an ode to all the parents who can count on two hands the number of nights they’ve slept through the night since becoming parents. Because sometimes when you’re desperate for sleep you try the most ridiculous crap. And other times you just need to LOL about it because otherwise you might cry about it. Or fall asleep with your eyes open. 


Husband: What’s that? 

Me: It’s a night light. Maybe it would help him to have a light in here.  

Husband: What’s that? 

Me: I’m just going to rub some essential oils on his feet real quick. People say they think this might help their kid sleep. 


Husband: What’s that? 

Me: I bought a humidifier. Someone told me they heard that these can help kids sleep better. 

Husband: What’s that?

Me: I’m thinking about buying a super hero doll that has a light on it and it changes colors when it’s morning. Someone said it helped their kid. Or something like that.  


Husband: What’s that? 

Me: It’s a diffuser. I’ve read that diffusing essential oils can help them sleep.

Husband: What’s that? 

Me: I’m looking at weighted blankets. People say those can help kids who never sleep ever sleep for a few minutes. 


Husband: What’s that? 

Me: Oh I got some sleep inducing bubble bath at the store. I heard someone say that bubble baths before bed helped their kids sleep through the night. 

Husband: What’s that?

Me: It’s like melatonin but not that. I read somewhere that this helped someone’s kid sleep through the night one time.


Husband: What’s that? 

Me: Someone gave me their notes from a sleep trainer they used. They said it helped for like a month. 

Husband: What’s that? 

Me: It’s Benadryl for the love of God. 

A Christmas Wish For The Introvert 

Oh, hi there. So we’re just coming off of Thanksgiving week. It was a blast. Really, it was. Both of my sisters were in town and it was seriously so fun. We did all of the things for days together as a family. We togethered so hard. But now the week is over and I don’t know how to say this exactly but:

I have togethered too much for the personal safety of myself and others. Thanksgiving has left me straight up out of evens because I just cannot anymore.

And so the following conversation happened between my husband and I last night:

Me: What room are you going to right now?

Husband: I’m not sure? Why?

Me: Because I am not going to go to that room you go to. This is because I love you.

The life of an introvert is a strange one, I tell you. We are a misunderstood bunch. We don’t hate all people and we aren’t just so shy. We have friends. We like good conversation. We will go and we will do and we will probably have a good time. But when it’s all said and done you people make us tired. So tired. And so we go away and spend time by ourselves in the quiet and that’s where we get our energy back. It’s really quite simple. It’s all about where you get your energy- extroverts get it from being around people and introverts get it from being alone. That’s all. We aren’t a bunch of meany rude grumpy grumps. We just need a hot minute for the love.

And so I was sitting in the bathroom yesterday hiding from my toddler thinking about introverts and the holiday season.

[Sidenote: this is exactly how I feel about Christmas parties. And by “Christmas” I mean all.]

And I was like: The holiday season is overwhelming for the average person, yes? There are exactly a bazillion parties to go to and everyone wants to gather for a dinner of sorts. There’s the shopping and the last minute gifts. There’s traveling and there’s staying with family and and and… just wow, so many things. And so as I was hiding from the toddler who is currently in a phase I like to call “koala bear” (think hanging off of a tree every second of the day and I am the tree) and I was just like, it’s hard to be an introvert during the holidays. There. I said it.

And so I have a few wishes for the introvert this Christmas season.

I wish no small talk upon you at all the parties and all the family gatherings. But if you must engage with the small talk, I wish for you the game Loaded Questions. Carry that box around with you at all times and when things get hard (i.e. people ask you what you do or you’re travel plans or if you like cold weather) bust out a, “What would be a terrible name for a celebrity perfume?” #yoface #howsthatforsmalltalk


I wish for you this killer tee because truth never spoke so hard. Amiright?


I wish for you this ostrich pillow. May it be a safe haven for you or a safe word of sorts. May you crawl inside this sucker on airplanes, at family gatherings, or when you are just so done except you’re not at the mall.


I wish for you a coloring book. Sit down, dear one, grab some colors and drown out all.the.noise of the holidays one coloring page at a time.

I wish for you a canceled party because:

I wish for you this necklace.

I wish for you the strength to say the following words, “Please go away. I’m introverting” at least once this Christmas. And if you can’t find the strength to utter them, may you just flash this mug in people’s faces.


Speaking of sweatpants, I wish for you some. May you be granted many nights to just sit at home and wear them. Or may you be granted a Christmas party invitation where the dress code is sweatpant.

I wish for you a friend who invites you to dinner at her house and when you show up this is in front of the door.

I wish for you ghost-like exits from every gathering. May they be quick and clean and may no one notice one single thing.



I wish for you a night to use this candle. Because no one is coming over and it’s okay to like it that way.

I wish for you some quiet time. I want it to rain down quiet time like it rained down manna for the Israelites. I want quiet time to be gifted to you with as much excitement as Oprah used to gift all.the.things. And if you can’t get that precious quiet time I wish for you these bad boys.

There you have it. My Christmas wishes for the introvert. May you strike the perfect balance of together and Bye Felicia.

Puzzle Update (And A Few Other Words)

If you’re just joining in, a big Hello! We’re in the process of adopting our second kiddo from Uganda. You can read more about that here. We’re also fundraising, whoop, you can read more about that one here. Much love.

Y’all. We’ve officially crossed the $10,000 mark. Say what!? I know. In just five weeks 337 puzzle pieces have been sold and $10, 110 has been raised. That’s so crazy awesome. We are so thankful and so grateful. Like, seriously. People are so kind and so generous. Believe me when I say it does not go unappreciated. Without you people who are giving we could literally not do this thing. So until someone comes up with a different way to say “thank you”… THANK YOU is all we’ve got.

People have asked how I’m feeling about everything this go around and my answer is almost always the exact same… I feel so fine. I feel heavy about it all but I feel fine about it, too. I feel the exact opposite of how I felt for the solid two years we were in the adoption process last time. I feel confident in what we’re doing and totally at peace. I just know this is right. There is literally no question about it.

Last time I felt anxious and worried and this constant sense of urgency and stressed times 4 billion. This time I just feel heavy about the whole thing. I know the reality this time, and the reality is what weighs heavy on my mind and my heart.


The reality is there is another Wyatt, a living breathing human being out there, who simply needs a family.There is another Wyatt who doesn’t need anyone to come save or rescue him, but rather to come meet him where he is (in all his grief and anger and confusion and hurt) and just love him. There is another Wyatt who doesn’t need to be adopted so everything will be “fixed”, but rather needs someone to be there in the hard and the ugly parts of their story- to honor the losses, to celebrate the gains, to just sit with them in it all and tell them they’ll always be there. There is another Wyatt who is worthy of redemption and growth and healing. There is another Wyatt who is worth it.


The reality that there is another baby- a baby who has eyes and fingers and toes and a heart- who just needs a family (a FAMILY for crap’s sake) and we can’t go to him without an insane amount of money. The reality that every day that passes is just another day that a baby goes to bed without someone to call mom and dad. And that’s the reality that keeps me up at night.


And so sometimes (or all of the time) when I get embarrassed that we’re asking for money and I get tired of talking about this puzzle…

When I get frustrated when there are multiple days in a row where not one dollar has been given…

When I get mad that there are kick starter campaigns that raise more money than we’re trying to in no time…

When I feel like I’m pulling teeth and begging people to give…

When I want to scream that “liking” something on Facebook does not get us one centimeter closer to this kid…

When I think maybe we should stop and give up because, money…

… there is another Wyatt and he is worth it.


Will you join us? Will you help us set another precious kiddo in a family? We literally can’t do it without you. $30/puzzle piece (buy 1 or a million of them, yes?). Click here to give via Paypal or email me for our address or our agency’s address (tax deductible, YEAH BABY).