Dear Mindy

I just finished reading Mindy Kaling’s (Kelly from The Office) book Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns). It was good. I laughed. I would recommend it. In this book there is a gem of a chapter entitled “Married People Need to Step It Up.” It is brilliant. If you do nothing else, at least go to a book store and sit in an aisle and read this chapter. It’s pages 183-187. Just to make that one easy.

Mindy, here is my response to your so brilliantly written chapter on marriage.

Dear Mindy,

Hey girl hey! I FINALLY read your book. I’ve just been so stressed out lately and haven’t had any time at all to do fun things like read good books. Since we’re friends, I obviously know that you don’t like it when I talk about being stressed, so I’ll move on.

I want to redeem it all for married people. Sorry we suck sometimes. You’re right, marriage is work but at least it’s work with a person we like (hopefully). Sorry we talk so much about it being hard and make it seem like a chore rather than something awesome. Being married is so fun. Dustin is one of my favorite people. He’s definitely my favorite husband… see what I did there?

What I like most about marriage is I genuinely like my husband. I like to hang out with him. Don’t fool yourself, I don’t like to hang out with him all the time but a lot of the time I do. I like that we can do just about anything and have fun together. I like that we laugh a lot. Dustin is funny and I am funnier. I like that we can make fun of ourselves and each other and still love one another. I love that his tribute to Valentine’s day was, “On this day in history, five years ago, you completely ignored me. I thought about ignoring you all day, but my heart is full of love.”

I like that just a second ago Dustin google chatted me and asked, “are we allowed to go to Baja Burrito on Valentine’s Day or do we have to go somewhere fancy?” Baja. Duh. Every time.

I love that we have “our shows.” Modern Family, The Office, Community, Parks and Recreation, The League, Breaking Bad, FNL, Happy Endings, Entourage, and 30 Rock. If we watch any of those without the other it is game on. One time he watched an episode of FNL without me and I cried. That is a true story. I hate that I’m addicted to Breaking Bad because of him. But I slightly love it. I love so much that he does the thing from Happy Endings where Brad snaps his finger and his pants fall off. Except Dustin’s version is more like snapping the finger and then an awkward shimmy to get his pants to fall to the floor. Hilarious. I love that he pretends he isn’t watching Gossip Girl with me. I love that we have a qoute from The Office or 30 Rock for just about everything. If we go into hybernation for weeks at a time it is most likely because we have picked up a new show and are Netflix-ing every season available. I love that on Friday nights you will find us on the couch Hulu-ing every one of these shows from the week. Call us lame but I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.

It makes me laugh so hard to think about the time he woke up before me and made bacon. I couldn’t wait to tell him, “I can officially say… I like waking up to the smell of bacon. Sue me.” (That is a good one y’all. Seriously.)

It makes me die a little when he calls me by my maiden name, “Flow.” I thoroughly enjoy addressing him by his twitter handle @dustinkoctar.

I adore that when we’ve had a fight or done something stupid our response is always, “We/I/You are better than that.” By “done something stupid” I am recalling the time we went to the beach and I asked him to put sunscreen on my back. I guess he thought I said half of my back because I got 3rd degree burn on HALF OF MY BACK. Like blisters third degree burn. You are seriously better than that my friend.

Being married makes me happy. It’s not that hard to make it work. You can indeed get married and be pals. You don’t have to gaze into each others eyes. We’ve literally never done that and I think if we did we would just start laughing. It is possible to like being married. Trust me.

Peace, Love, & “The Injury” being my favorite Office episode,


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