Michael Jordan, Cussing, Bungalows, and Drug Tests

I work with kids. On a daily basis I find myself stifling laughter at the things they say to me. Sometimes I can’t even help it and I laugh in their faces. No shame. In honor of today being the last official day of school for me, here are some of my favorite quotes from this school year…

“If I would like someone to adopt me, where do I get the paperwork for that?”

” I think I might have pink eye. My brother keeps farting in my face.”

“But Mrs. Courtney! I just don’t want to die lonely and a virgin.”

“Mrs. Courtney, I bet you were so popular when you were in middle school.”

“Will I fail my drug test if I have bad breath? What about if I have ADHD? What about if I just drank a Pepsi?”

“Mrs. Courtney, have you ever cussed before?”

“I need to see the other counselor now. To be honest you give good advice about friends but really bad advice about family.”

“WHAT!? I thought I could fart in your room! You’re my good friend. I thought it’d be okay.”

“Mrs. Courtney, I know you’re trying to be a hipster with your new glasses but they MAKE YOUR EYES SO BIG. AHH!”

“Family guy is a show for those lonely nights when you just need a good laugh.”

“A bungalow is a gentleman’s club, right?”

“My teacher is so rude! He asked me if I was deaf today. At least I think that’s what he said. I couldn’t really hear him.”

“Well, if dead athletes count, my favorite is Michael Jordan.” (This one is hands down my favorite.)

“So, how much running is actually involved in track?”

“Mrs. Courtney, YOU cuss when you get mad!? Man, I feel sorry for your husband.”

“You’re 26!? I thought you were like 18 or something.”

“You’re 26!? I was going to say 42.”

“I heard a teacher say they were making a “harlen shakes” video. HAHAHA teachers are so dumb.”

“Mrs. Courtney what’s your last name?” …. “Ohhhh so THAT’S why you make us call you Mrs. Courtney.”

Peace out kiddos. Stay funny. See you in August.




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