Birth Control, Errand Running, & Whisper Fighting: Koctar Year 4 In Review

It’s our anniversary today. Whoop. We’re four years in and still kicking. Hive fives all around, y’all.

Let’s be real for just a minute. Marriage is wonderful. Marriage is ridiculous. Sometimes we both feel like we’ve been married for a stinking century. Other days we feel like we got married 5 minutes ago. There are days where we cannot wait to come home to each other. There are days we might take an extra lap around the block before coming home. Sometimes I think we should win an award because we are so awesome. Other times I think the Kardashians are better at marriage than us. Sometimes all we do is laugh. Sometimes all we do is fight.

Love is just a battlefield, y’all.

We didn’t publicly talk about this past year much. It was a hard one and honestly, just really weird. We lived with my family for 8 of the last 12 months (which we are beyond thankful for). We slept in my old childhood bedroom. We shared a bathroom with my youngest sister. Dustin quit a job. I worked 2 jobs. Dustin worked multiple odd jobs. Dustin got a new job. We moved out in April. So, yeah, it was a weird one BUT boy did we learn from this last year.

So, in honor of today, Dustin and I teamed up to bring you a few things we learned in this year 4 of marriage.

1. Whisper fighting. When you are living with others, you can’t really fight. It’s awkward for all. So, we learned to whisper fight. We are champions at fighting at a level -4 voice volume. We could now fight in the middle of the moment of silence and no one would hear us.

2.We are bed size snobs. My parents did it right. They bought me a bed as a teenager that is only suitable for one human to sleep in. Here’s to 8 months of feeling like your going to fall off the bed, elbows in the face, middle of the night kicks to the shin, and awful sleep. If you want us to sleep in anything smaller than a queen; well, you can just get to steppin’.

3. Running errands with your mother- in- law isn’t so bad. Dustin unemployed + my stay at home mom= lots of errand running together. I would often come home, ask Dustin what he did today, and get this as a response: “Oh, I just ran errands with your mom all day. We went to Costco, the grocery, ran through Starbucks; you know.” No. I don’t know.

4. You must be a CPA(certified public accountant) to do anything in America. Dustin looked for a job for months. Had countless first interviews and lots of second interviews. And you want to know what they ALL said? You need to be a CPA. It was probably the most disheartening thing ever. You’re interviewing for a job that has NOTHING to do with accounting? Oh, I’m sorry, you’ll need to be a CPA. You need to go to the bathroom? Oh, too bad, you’ll need to be a CPA to do that.

5. If you want to fly through your reading list; be unemployed. In between running errands with my mom, Dustin read. A lot of books. 13 books in 3 months, to be exact. I often wished he could have been working under the table for high school students. Reading their books, writing reports, and getting paid for it. No such luck.

6. Queso & Margarita Friends are the answer to everything. Q & M friends are those people you can call when you are literally feeling any emotion at all and they will meet you for queso and margs. Happy? Sad? Pissed? Frustrated? Excited? Tired? QUESO AND MARGARITA FRIENDS. They are necessary, vital for the soul and your marriage. We have them. We love them. Go getcha’ some of your own.

7. Birth control was created by Satan. I used to be pretty normal. Then I started taking birth control and I became a psycho. For the first 3 1/2 years of our marriage my sweet husband was walking through an emotional land mine. During a 5 minute span I could: bawl my eyes out, laugh hysterically, say I’m depressed, be chipper, and sit in a dark room with a glass of wine all at the same time. It was SO awesome. So I said peace out to the BC and our marriage has never been better.

8. The holy spirit is real and it tells you to do stuff. Listen to it and do what it tells you. Life is crazy cool if you do.

Here’s to year 4 and one of the funnest days ever. Onward to year 5. Cheers!

C & D

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  1. Love, love, love!!! Sounds like you are pretty normal to me. I will be borrowing the Q & M friends phrase…SO important! Keep breathing…keep writing…sending love!

  2. Happy Anniversary to a wonderful daughter and son-in-law!! You are such wonderful examples to us all. Here’s to many more wonderful, ridiculous and fun years together!
    Love ya,
    Moma Lisa

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