Waiting

Our dossier hit that sweet red dirt of Uganda last Wednesday. It was filed and now we wait for a court date to be assigned to us. In the last week I think I’ve gone crazy. My phone doesn’t ever leave my side. I check my email approximately every 26 seconds. I check my phone for missed calls every 12 seconds. I reason with myself and say things like, “maybe they called and I just missed it because my phone was on silent.” Yeah, no.

Waiting is painful around here. It looks like me waking up in the middle of the night, my heart pounding and my mind racing. It feels like wanting to puke or pee your pants with excitement at any given moment. Sometimes I think it feels like my heart is literally aching. It’s buying toys and not knowing when they’ll be played with. It’s getting clothes and not knowing when a sweet little body will wear them. It’s getting a room ready and only hoping that one day soon you’ll be tucking in a little tot. It’s wanting to meet a little boy so bad it hurts a little. It’s being ready to go. Like, officially ready to go and knowing it’s not time yet. It’s not knowing when that time will be.

So we wait. And it sucks a little.

I heard the below song a couple of weeks ago and fell in love with it. I can now listen to it without sobbing. Progress, y’all. I think I love it because they are perfect words for waiting. So we will wait, and cling to the promise that God has already written this story. We just have to keep walking in it.

Unspoken “I Lift My Life Up” (iTunes it now)

You brought me this far so why would I question You now
You have provided so why would I start to doubt
I’ve never been stranded, abandoned or left here to fight alone
So I’m giving You control

I lift my life, lift my life up
I give it all in surrender
I lift my heart, lift my heart up
You can have it forever
All my dreams, all my plans
Lord I leave it in Your hands
I lift my life, lift my life up

Have Your way in me
Have Your way in me

If peace is a river then let it sweep over me
If I’m under fire I know it’s refining me
When I hear You calling out I follow now wherever the road may go
I know You’re leading me home

I lift my life, lift my life up
I give it all in surrender
I lift my heart, lift my heart up
You can have it forever
All my dreams, all my plans
Lord I leave it in Your hands
I lift my life, lift my life up

Have Your way in me
Have Your way in me

Take my life and let it be all for You
Take my life and let it be all for You

I lift my life, lift my life up
I give it all in surrender
I lift my heart, lift my heart up
(Take my life)

I lift my life, lift my life up
I give it all in surrender
(Take my heart)
I lift my heart, lift my heart up
You can have it forever
All my dreams, all my plans
Lord I leave it in Your hands
I lift my life, lift my life up

Have Your way with me
Have Your way with me
Have Your way with me
Have Your way with me

Take my life and let it be all for You

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