When Dustin and I started dating we would attempt to run together. Sometimes it went really well and other times it did not. I’m a runner, always have been. Dustin did not run at the time. I would want to go faster and longer than he would. He would constantly inquire as to how much longer we had to do this. Dustin likes to talk when he runs. I just cannot do that. We would argue. It was annoying to say the least.
Six years later, we’re still trying to run together. Same story except Dustin runs now. Sometimes we run really well together. We can slow it down so I can talk, we can be stride for stride, it seems easy. Other days we simply cannot figure it out. We will argue about a pace, distance, and why the other person is or is not engaging in conversation. There are times we wish we had just run on our own. Sometimes it just seems impossible. It’s frustrating.
We’re celebrating our five year wedding anniversary today. Five whole years. That seems so nuts. If I’m learning anything it’s that we’re five years in this thing and we still don’t always run well together. We’re five years in and we’re still learning how to run together. I’m also learning that’s totally okay. This has been a year where we didn’t always run perfectly together, but we ran well together. We found a stride that worked. We found the rhythm of us.
We learned when to challenge each other and when to back off. We learned that some things really are worth fighting about [and some things just straight up aren’t] but it’s only ever worth fighting if you’re fighting well. We learned that sometimes you just need to get over yourself and go see your counselor. We also learned that sometimes getting over yourself means apologizing first and moving on.We learned how to truly let things go. We learned that there are times in marriage where you’re growing and challenging each other. We also learned that sometimes that stuff is for the birds and marriage just needs to be the safe place. No growing, no challenging, no moving, no shaking. Just a safe place to be. We learned that sometimes you just need to get on a plane and go somewhere together. We also learned that sometimes you just need to stay put, but stay put together.
We learned that “happily ever after” is not a thing. Instead we learned that this is hard work for the rest of your life. We learned that it really is okay to be sad together. We learned that it’s also really okay to laugh together when you’re sad. We learned that sometimes it’s okay to walk away from an argument but you’ve got to always come back to the table. We learned that spontaneity really can save a Thursday. We learned how to dream together. We learned how to say, “this is what I need from you.” We learned that you really can get through hard things.
It was one of those years where I remembered we’re good together. We’re not perfect together, but we’re good. Really good. So I think we’ll keep running. Or at least keep figuring out how to.
Here’s to year five. DK, you’re my absolute favorite.