Because Toddler

Hear me when I say I LOVE being a mom. It is literally the most fun. Every day is hilarious and awesome and sweet. I love my child an insane amount. He will probably never know how much I wanted him. I’m basically obsessed with him. Yes. Hear me when I also say that being a mom is ridiculous and hard and sometimes I think I’m seriously going to lose my mind. Yes. Hear me when I also say that this post is written in sarcastic font. Yes.

Toddlers are hilarious and absurd and like the sweetest things ever. They are all the things. Every last one of them. Dustin and I met up at our kitchen table to discuss some of the hilarious/ridiculous/weird questions we find ourselves asking these days. Because toddler.

Why am I awake? Because toddler.

Why do I have a human being sitting on my lap while I pee? Because toddler.

Why am I crying? Because toddler.

Why am I drinking? Because toddler.

Why is there poop on the wall? Because toddler.

Why am I singing The Backyardigans song at work? Because toddler.

Why is this broken? Because toddler.

Why am I eating dinner at 4:30 pm? Because toddler.

Why are there toys in my dishwasher? Because toddler.

Why am I watching Clifford all by myself? Because toddler.

Why am I hiding food in hummus and peanut butter and refried beans? Because toddler.

Why am I so tired? Because toddler.

Why is this sticky? Because toddler.

Why does this smell? Because toddler.

Why is this wet? Because toddler.

Parents of toddlers: what else you got? Let’s laugh together BECAUSE TODDLER.

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