For the almost two years that we were in the adoption process we got asked some pretty ridiculous questions. Some of my favorites are: Will he be black?, How black will he be?, Oh, can you just not have your own kids? Are you sure you’re having sex right?, and You know you’re going to have a racially diverse family, right? Sometimes I feel like I need to make a public apology that reads: “I’m sorry for the things I said while we were adopting.” It was stressful and emotional and like overwhelming times one zillion. I was kind of feisty back then and said many words to people in response to their questions. However, I only straight up lost my crap a handful of times, I only wrote one passive aggressive blog post and I didn’t stab anyone so I feel somewhat proud of myself overall. I thought that the weird, awkward, borderline offensive questions would end once we actually had the child in our home, but that’s hilarious because no. Just no.
I find myself way too tired to be feisty these days. I’m hopeful that attitude will return in full by summer. Fingers crossed. So instead we just find ourselves dying laughing or staring blankly at people’s actual faces because the following:
Are you the real mom?
What? You don’t see the resemblance? Gosh, I thought we looked JUST ALIKE. But on the real, yes I am. Thankyouverymuchforasking.
Are you the babysitter?
Nah girl. Some days I straight up wish I was just the babysitter though.
Mom! Mom! Look! A black one!
Ohhhkkayyy. You can stop YELLING that from across the mall. We are literally not at a zoo. Thank you!
Man: Are you his real mom? Me: Yep! Man: Oh yeah? Where’s the dad?
Sir, I’m going to need you to TAKE A SEAT. The dad? He’s at work.
Girl: How do you know his name? Me: Because he’s my little boy. Girl: Blank stare.
Blank stare right back at ya sister.
Woman (yelling in disbelief at Dustin FROM HER PORCH while he is running with Wyatt in the stroller): IS THAT A BLACK BABY IN THERE!?!?
This one actually makes me die laughing because you, my friend, have 20/20 vision! Hooray!
Girl: Is that your baby? Me: Yep! Girl: No way.
Yes way. Like, literally yes way.
Oh, so you finally got one of those babies huh?
I actually cannot with this one. Deeeeep breathe.
What I’m really saying is this: You guys, please start saving bailout money for when Wyatt is old enough to understand these things because WHAT IN THE ACTUAL WORLD? Someone hold me.