I Want You To Know

I want you to know that he loves cars and balls. But mainly cars. The kid loves his cars.

I want you to know that I think he’s going to be a lefty. His dad is pretty pumped about his potential in sports because of that.

I want you to know his laugh is to die for.

I want you to know he is kind, so kind. And oh so sweet.

I want you to know he is smart. My word is he smart.

I want you to know he is stubborn as all get out.

I want you to know he is passionate, I think he’s going to be a world changer.

I want you to know his eyelashes curl all the way up to his eyelids. One day all the girls will be jealous of those eyelashes.

I want you to know that he has this look, this look where he cuts his eyes and smirks this smirk. It’s the look where I always think: “Holy cow, we’re in trouble.” It’s gets me. Every. Single. Time.

I want you to know the feet that kicked around in your belly are the squishiest, cutest little feet ever.

I want you to know his hugs are simply the best. And his snuggles. Those are pretty good, too.

I want you to know he learned to walk by pushing a trash can around. He thought it was the funniest thing ever. I want you to know that he’s running now. Like, the kid never stops moving.

I want you to know his smile. He has dimples and the most beautiful white teeth I’ve ever seen. His smile might be my favorite.

I want you to know he has deep brown eyes, they almost sparkle. That makes me want to cry a little bit. That sparkle does.

I want you to know that he can’t hear music and sit still, that he has killer dance moves.

I want you to know that he loves church and singing songs and saying prayers.

I want you to know he is brave. The bravest almost two year old I’ve ever had the privilege of knowing.

I want you to know that he is loved. So, so loved.

I want you to know that you will always be first. I want you to know he will always be yours. I want you to know you will always be spoken of in this house, you will never be a secret and you will never be forgotten. I want you to know you are loved. I want you to know you are honored. I want you to know I respect you and my heart aches for you, for the decision you made. I want you to know that I can’t even imagine- the pain, the heartache, the wonder, the guilt. I want you to know that one day you’ll hold this sweet boy of yours, and I want you to know I can’t wait for that. I want you to know I believe in a whole lot of grace. I want you to know that I believe in redemption, your boy has made me believe in redemption. I want you to know that it is a privilege, an honor, to be one of his moms. I want you to know that this boy of ours is just that, ours, and I’ll be eternally grateful for you. For sharing your boy with me.

Happy Mother’s Day to you, sister.

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4 comments

  1. As a birthmom, I truly appreciate this. I pray my adoptive parents that I chose for my own daughter think this way. You’re what every birthmom wants in a set of adoptive parents! Thank you for being who you are.

    1. Thank you, Kami! That means a lot. Happy Mother’s Day to you, I think birth moms are the bravest of all the moms. 🙂

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