What’s That? 

This is an ode to all the parents who can count on two hands the number of nights they’ve slept through the night since becoming parents. Because sometimes when you’re desperate for sleep you try the most ridiculous crap. And other times you just need to LOL about it because otherwise you might cry about it. Or fall asleep with your eyes open. 

  

Husband: What’s that? 

Me: It’s a night light. Maybe it would help him to have a light in here.  

Husband: What’s that? 

Me: I’m just going to rub some essential oils on his feet real quick. People say they think this might help their kid sleep. 

  

Husband: What’s that? 

Me: I bought a humidifier. Someone told me they heard that these can help kids sleep better. 

Husband: What’s that?

Me: I’m thinking about buying a super hero doll that has a light on it and it changes colors when it’s morning. Someone said it helped their kid. Or something like that.  

  

Husband: What’s that? 

Me: It’s a diffuser. I’ve read that diffusing essential oils can help them sleep.

Husband: What’s that? 

Me: I’m looking at weighted blankets. People say those can help kids who never sleep ever sleep for a few minutes. 

  

Husband: What’s that? 

Me: Oh I got some sleep inducing bubble bath at the store. I heard someone say that bubble baths before bed helped their kids sleep through the night. 

Husband: What’s that?

Me: It’s like melatonin but not that. I read somewhere that this helped someone’s kid sleep through the night one time.

  

Husband: What’s that? 

Me: Someone gave me their notes from a sleep trainer they used. They said it helped for like a month. 

Husband: What’s that? 

Me: It’s Benadryl for the love of God. 

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